☕ All Java Monster Flavors Ranked

Godzilla drinking a hot coffee in front of some mountains

As a habitual caffeine abuser, I have a soft spot for Monster, both for their expansive lineup of flavors as well as their support for Sports and E-sports. Coffee is my standard caffeination vector, so the Java Monster suite of products is the perfect mix of bean flavor and energy boost. In this post, I'll provide my personal rankings and rationale for what is a very strong lineup.

Note that I have not been compensated in any way for this write-up... I just like them.

Currently, Monster Energy's Java Monster lineup has five currently available flavors:

Mean Bean - Vanilla
Irish Crème
Loca Mocha - Chocolate
Salted Caramel
Café Late

There are two "triple shot" versions of the Vanilla and Mocha which contain 300mg of caffeine though their flavors are very similar to the base versions above. At this point, we should also take a moment of silence for the two cold brew flavors, sweet black and nitro latte. The nitro latte was a personal favorite and I quite liked the sweet black, but both cans were polarizing and the nitro aspect added logistical complexity. In contrast to the current lineup, both of the cold brew flavors were relatively mild, significantly more coffee forward and less sweet. Though it had only been two years since their release in 2022, they were cancelled in 2024 much to my dismay.

Java Monster Cold brew - Nitro Sweet back and latte on a table

Gone but not forgotten!

Moving on to the current lineup, my favorite thing about Java Monsters is that the first ingredient in all of the flavors is "brewed coffee", followed by skim milk, cream, and glucose. They do have the Monster standard energy drink components of taurine, ginseng, guarana extract, and caffeine plus some B vitamins and the usual preservatives/natural flavors. All in all, you have what basically amounts to a standard Monster Energy beverage with Coffee instead of water. Nutritionally, they have around 200 calories each and 28-36grams of sugar, so we are talking about soda or dessert level sweetness. In all but one of these, the coffee takes a back seat to the highlighted flavor. Without further ado, here is the Castle & Cairn Java Monster power rankings.

5. Salted Caramel Java Monster

Salted Caramel Java Monster Can stock image

Holding up the lineup, from fifth Salted Caramel delivers on its name in spades. If you enjoy caramel flavored coffee creamer, this can is for you. While I still enjoy it, there is a metallic quality to caramel flavoring that doesn't reach the heights of other flavors. Salted Caramel does have the distinction of being the lowest in sugar and consequently calories of the current lineup.

4. Irish Crème Java Monster

Irish Creme Java Monster Green Can stock image

With the coolest can of the lot, Java Monster Irish Crème got a new recipe and facelift in 2024, now featuring a cool looking leprechaun skeleton, harps, pots-o-gold, and horseshoes. It does a faithful job of tasting like an

3. Loca Mocha Java Monster

Loca Mocha Java Monster Chocolate Stock Image

Chocolate has long been a cornerstone coffee flavor and Loca Moca brings the coca.

2. Mean Bean Java Monster

As far as flavored coffees go, latte with vanilla may be the most classic combination. This mean can provides vanilla bean flavor while still allowing for some coffee taste to shine through. Many have this as their overall favorite can, but I think one other flavor just edges it out.

1. Café Late Java Monster

Providing the most coffee flavor by far, Java Monster Café Late packs the same sugary punch as the other contenders. After the demise of the cold brew options, Café Late represents the coffee lover's choice out of the current lineup.

Outro

If you like sweetness, coffee, and energy, Java Monsters are for you! They have a bit more oomph compared to other canned coffees and apply towards Monster Energy promos. I'm ripping one and jumping on Call of Duty Black Ops Zombies.

Call of Duty Black ops Zombies Java Monster where the java monsters replace the perk-a-colas

🥃Review #30: Kirkland Bourbon Casked Rum XO

XO stands for "Extra Old" but how does this bottle of Bourbon Casked Rum from Costco's Kirkland Signature line measure up? 📚 Background: Finished in used Cognac backs, this bottle is a product of Guatemala, imported for Costco by MISA IMPORTS out of Dallas Texas. MISA, named after the founder's children Michael and Sarah, started primarily as a sourcing partner for fine wines, but has since expanded operations into sourcing spirits. MISA's rum brand partners include 1731 , Autentico Nativo , and Navy Island. We would have to guess the maker if not for the back label which clearly identifies one Olivier Dumont, Master Blender. Mr. Dumont works for Les Bienheureux , a French company growing at an alarming rate that has both a foothold in French Whisky and Costa Rican Rum. Les Bienheureux is the company behind "El Pasador De Oro " (roughly translated as "Gold Pin") which has two widely available iterations. The XO version retails for $46.99 and...

🥃Review #15 Kirkland Small Batch Kentucky Straight Bourbon 2024

Costco's liquor store is a thing of beauty. While not every Kirkland edition is a hit, there are enough standouts on a fun per dollar ratio to always merit a look. Almost all of the house brands are less than $30, and I'm always excited to take a long shot when the new seasonal releases come around. 📚 Background: Distilled by Barton 1792 in Bardstown Kentucky, Kirkland Small Batch Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey hits the shelves a few times a year. Mine was from batch 1124. The bottle presentation is supposed to evoke the same feel as other small batch whiskeys and there is a decorative purity seal that is reminiscent of the ever reliable bottled in bond green filigree, albeit in a meaningless red. Unlike its bonded brethren, this edition comes in under 100 proof and does not have any age statement. There's not a whole lot of additional information provided by Costco or the distiller, but we can reasonably assume that it shares a similar pedigree as the entry level 1792...

🥃Review #29: Kirkland Blended Canadian Whisky - Is it Crown Royal?

Awarded 91 points and a gold medal by the Beverage Tasting Institute, Kirkland Canadian Whisky is known a great value and many in the popular culture have alleged that it is repackaged Crown Royal due to its relative quality for the price. But is it? 📚 Background: Kirkland first introduced their line of spirits in the 1990s and has expanded their offerings over time. While I wasn't able to find a first release date for this product, the first TTB label in the COLA database is from 2016. The whisky is imported for Costco by Wide World Importers in Louisville Kentucky. Digging a bit further reveals that Wide World Importers is an alternative name for SAZERAC . For me, this conclusively busts the popular myth that Kirkland Canadian is made by Crown Royal (a Diageo property). Sazerac has a number of Canadian Whisky brands in-house, including: Rich & Rare Reserve ($19.99 for 1.75L - No Age Statement), Seagram's VO ($22.99 for 1.75L - Aged Six Years),...

🥃 Review #32: James E. Pepper Decanter Barrel Proof

Named after Colonel James E. Pepper (1850-1906), noted horseman and master distiller, this lovely decanter styled bottle hails from a whiskey pedigree older than the American Revolution. Col. Pepper, third in his line to use the family recipe, convinced the state of Kentucky to change its laws to permit distillers to bottle their own whiskey, a right previously allocated to rectifiers (third party blenders/flavor makers) who had a history of adding adulterants or cutting whiskey to make an extra buck. Colonel Pepper began the tradition of affixed a signed seal to the bottle to denote its quality, a provision that became a hallmark of the Bottled-in-Bond Act of 1897 for which he was a chief advocate. The Pepper family continued to operate the historic James E. Pepper Distillery in Lexington as well as the Woodford Reserve Distillery until 1967 when a slow whiskey market forced them to shutter the historic Lexington location and the family brand. In 2008, Amir Peay revived the hi...

🎮Call of Duty Zombies: The Drinking Game - Rules

Since its introduction in Call of Duty: World at War , Call of Duty Zombies has been a PvE staple for gamers everywhere and has appeared in many subsequent titles. In this post, we'll explore rules for turning a game of round-based zombies into a lovely drinking session. As with all drinking games, set limits before you begin and be sure to conduct yourself both legally and responsibly. Preparation To play the game, you'll need the following in addition to an internet connection, gaming device, and Call of Duty: A Party Sipper of your Choice - I recommend something relatively low ABV. We balanced the rules for a player of moderate ability and a sipper of 4-8% alcohol. Light beer is my go-to here since it has enough lovely hydrating waters to help stave off some small sadness. A Couple of Shots - I would pre-pour a couple of shots to have on hand. Again, lower end of ABV which for shots likely means 80 proof. Kirkland Canadian Whiskey, Tito's Vodka, or Lunazul Tequila wo...

Castle & Cairn

Search This Blog